If I had gone full term (40 weeks that is), today would have been Ryan & Kaylie's first birthday. Their birthday was 10 weeks ago but in my eyes, they are officially one year olds TODAY. Of course I began to wonder if I will be thinking this same thought each year hereafter. "Today's the day you would have been 2, 3, etc..." When does that insanity stop? That's what it is you know--the life of a preemie mom--the constant focus on well if such and such had happened....or as I have done here many times with pointing out what a date WOULD HAVE BEEN. I surely can't be the only preemie mom who does this. Am I?
Are there any other preemie moms out there who can shed some light on these things for me? Tell me how to get over this stuff already! Does it go away once they are "caught up" (a preemie term I loathe) or will these thoughts be with me forever?
Anyway, Happy 1st "birthday" kids! We won't be having any cake or gifts but it's a date worth noting here...um...I think.
7 comments:
i'm sorry liz. my boys were not born quite as early as your kiddos. I do always mention on the day they were suppose to be born, but other than that I don't really worry about it. I know that's something you are struggling with and I wish I could help you more. ::HUGS::
I thought about that on their due date and they were a month old. I'm guessing it will fade for you in a year or two. It sounds like a good excuse to have cupcakes today!
It crosses my mind a lot. I think I get particularly "hung up" on the percentile charts. Jude is still very low on the percentiles, and I'm always concerned.
On the topic of preemie mom concerns, Jude's run a fever on and off for the past few days, and finally developed a cough. I was really worried; I think the NICU nurses just put the fear into us (big time!) and any time he has any little sniffle, I kinda freak out. I took him to the pediatrician and they were so laid-back about him. "Oh, well, it's a virus and probably some teeth coming in."
::sigh:: I told them to please excuse a nervous mom of a preemie.
i don't think about it now, but i wonder as their original due date approaches if i will...
Get them some cupcakes and celebrate! I would make it an annual event, some special treat on August 8, just to celebrate all they've overcome. Happy August 8th kiddos!
I don't think that's at all unusual! Mason is 3 and I still noted 7/27 this year as the day he "should have" been born. His coming home date is more important to me, but it is only 12 days before his due date. He's still fairly delayed but doing well.
I think when you have a specific date in your head that your whole world revolves around for 30+ weeks, it becomes its own entity!
Liz,
I know for me, with Will, it never goes away. I look at emma and think, wow, she has caught up and is doing wonderful, but Will... it's still so slow and makes me second guess everything.
I can tell you that henry was a preemie too and I no longer think about when he was due and when i had him. Sure, i do remember back on the experience, but I don't think about the what ifs anymore for him (he's 10).
:) Debi
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