Friday, July 11, 2008

A Year Ago Today

Ryan came home from the hospital a year ago today. This is the day that I became a mom. I may have given birth (hmm... I had a c-section..did I give birth? I guess that is debatable, but I like to think I did.) 42 days earlier, but I was finally able to do everything that a "regular" mom could do. I had my baby home with me. I mean I did a few motherly things in the NICU but it's just not the same as having your baby home with you. I always considered the time they spent in the NICU to be gestation time. Sort of like the NICU was one giant womb of some sort. It was hard leaving Kaylie behind in the hospital but one or both of us still went to see her every day. Being able to take your baby home after spending months hooked up to monitors was frightening. Literally up until a few minutes before you take your baby home, they are hooked up. How did I know if he was de-satting or not? I gradually got over that and told myself they wouldn't have let him go if he wasn't ready.
Moments that stick out the most from that day were when I decided to change Ryan's diaper--you know doing one of those motherly things. We had been home for about ten minutes--mind you he was in his cute "coming home" outfit---and he peed over everything--the wall, couch, Pack & play, & clothes! I learned to cover "the goods" with a washcloth from that moment on. I remember being so nervous in the car ride home and telling Bob to not hit any bumps. I remember not being able to sleep because I was so nervous that I jumped up to check on him 100 times. I also remember not being able to sleep because Ryan refused to sleep that first night too! I remember the feeling of how great it was to finally have one of our babies home with us.


cat said...

Gosh, but he was tiny! And just look at him now!

Katie said...

What a cute little peanut he was -and how precious he is today! Congrats for getting through an undoubtedly tough (but love-filled) year +!

Linda said...

How sweet. I can only imagine how great and scary it felt to have him home for the first time. He was SO tiny! Probably hard to remember now, right?

Jared & Becky said...

Yay Ryan! What a sweetie. I swear maybe it is the hair or the smile but some pictures he reminds me of my Alex.

RachelShingleton said...

Man, I can so relate to this post. I remember feeling the exact same way when Jude came home from the NICU. The monitor thing in particular freaked me out. I was so paranoid that he wasn't going to be able to breathe when he was strapped in his carseat, I would sit there next to him in the backseat, just staring at him.

I also remember being way freaked about not overstimulating him, like we needed to keep all the lights off or something. We laugh now when we look back at it, but at the time, we were so scared of every little thing!

BoufMom9 said...

So sweet Liz!
I don't know why I never knew how long they were in the NICU. I knew it was long, but I hadn't realized it was as long as it was.
Wow! My longest NICU stay was 10 days (and then he went back in 4 days later for another 5 days. UGH!) and 10 days was awful.
I can't imagine how long it must've seemed for you!
They both are such amazing babies!
:) Debi